MS is a lonely disease

Was chatting with one of my stem cell sisters the other day. Was very surprised to hear her tell me that 4 or 5 relationships, from our group in Moscow, have had their relationships come to a screeching halt. She was one of them as her fiance' broke off their engagement. Another lady had her husband of 20+ years leave her and file for divorce. My marriage was 9 years old. Mind you there was probably somewhere around 18 people in our group. Quite an astonishing number percentage wise.

The other day when I was at my neurologist's office I informed her that Alicia and I were getting divorced. She said unfortunately it happens all too often to MS patients. My guess its that it would be a very rare occurrence for an MS patient to break off a relationship. I'm sure it happens, just not in the kind of numbers that the healthy one in the relationship leaves. Being pragmatic I understand that we are a burden on others. Trust me we get no pleasure in that regard. The last thing that I want to be for my wife, my children, or my family is a burden. That was probably something that drove me to get HSCT after all. Didn't really think about it overtly but I am quite sure that was a fire in my belly.

MS is a lonely disease in a number of ways. Relationships are only one part of it. Albeit a tremendously large part of it.

A spouse or significant other has the ability to walk away from MS at any time they choose. Do you think it is remotely possible for the MS patient to divorce their disease? Is it a coincidence that in the examples explained above it was all the healthy ones in the relationship that left? What is commonality of the people who leave the chronically ill to fend for them selves? Is it selfishness? Sociopathic tendencies? What has happened to humanity? Maybe their fingers were crossed when they said "in sickness and in health"

Today was another slap in the face for me. At a time that I will need medical insurance the most, I will be losing it in short order. My insurance is through my wife's employer so when the divorce is over so is my insurance. In an earlier post I talked about stress and how detrimental it is for the recovering HSCT patient. In February my heart arrhythmia's returned and I had a second AFIB ablation on my heart. Probably as a result of stress. Yesterday a new symptom arose with some sores on my eyebrow, forehead, and scalp. Today it worsened to the point where they are now open sores and leaking fluid. Made a trip to my primary care doctor and was diagnosed with shingles. She said to me "Ken, it was triggered by stress". She also told me that the ulcers are around the eye so there is a risk that an ulcer could form on the cornea. If that were to happen I could lose sight in that eye permanently. Think I was just served up another order of stress.

I am not a happy camper for sure. The nurse bandaged me up to cover the ulcers. Think she over did the bandaging. HA!

My mother in law has had shingles in the past and told us they are painful. She is right. Mine will only get worse before they get better. Also have a headache too boot.

Trying to manage the stress but obviously still need to do better. Stress for the HSCT patient is much more damaging than it is for a healthy person. But what do they care anyway. Not their problem anymore. Vent over. Till next time friends.